The Internet Wanderer Has Sauntered Home
Hello, wanderer of the internet!
It has been a long time since I have sat down to write a blog post. Actually, it’s been quite a while since I’ve had my website properly online in general. You may notice all of my prior posts are no longer available, and this appears to be the only entry on my website. Let me explain my thought process behind archiving my prior posts.
I fell off of a lot of my creative outlets over the past couple of years. The most obvious examples of this are my YouTube and this blog here. The last time I regularly posted blog entries and YouTube vlogs/videos, I was in a very different place in my life. While there are some parts of those prior videos and posts that hold great memories, there was a bigger foundation of that period of time that was not so pleasant. Those past videos and entries were made when I was in active domestic violence. The abuser in question, was the man I was in a relationship with, who is the biological father of my oldest two children. After I left the intimate relationship with the abuser in early 2023, I stopped regularly posting the mentioned medias, as I was navigating many huge life changes one after another following our escape. I have chose to privatize or delete all of my prior posts from basically the moment I became an adult, to the point of official no contact, that included anything about my personal life, as what I shared about my abuser and the life we shared together at the time was as far from the truth as it could be, and it is also very painful to be reminded of it in that way, as I have severe PTSD from everything that happened. I do mourn the loss of these videos and entries, and the creative effort I put into them at the time, as well as the good memories that were contained in them. However, taking them down is what is best for myself, my children, and our safety. Thank you for understanding.
I’m not exactly sure how often I would like to be posting and creating via my website, YouTube, and other online methods. I have three very young children who take up most of my time, and I haven’t been able to devote as much time as I’d like to my hobbies, because I want to put my best effort and energy in to raising my family with my fiancé, Charles. However, I believe my hobbies and creative passions are important, and engaging in them is vital to my children’s upbringing, as I believe if I want my children to grow up secure in themselves, caring for themselves, and passionate individuals, I need to model that. Right now, I am still in the phase of balancing our lives after the rubble of fully escaping/going no contact with an abuser, and going through many other milestones and life changes that have left us uprooting quite often until recently. I do feel as though we are finding more balance and stability now, and that there are just some final tweaks and kinks to work out. That is why I am choosing now to clean the slate and begin indulging in these passions once again. I am placing the foundational building blocks to re-integrate these parts of my life that I have had to neglect due to prioritizing survival and preserving energy, and I hope you will join me for the adventure.
Signing off,
- ShelbiLynn (stopitshelbi) 🖤
